Art .x. Poetry .x. Philosophy .x. Literature .x. Love

Sat, 23 Jul 2005 14:33:13 GMT

well, i miss my boyfriend verry verryy much. i'm so happy i get to see him tomorrow! its gonna be a really awesome day. i love him <3 so yeah, i don't write much in this thing because i get to lazy, so deal. not like anyone actually reads this shit lmao. sooo, this girl emily didnt tip me, yelena and elyssa. thats effin gay!! she broke her foot and was rele annoying for 4 weeks so i think we should of gotten something at least. but, Amanda gave us 40 dollars each and i think that was really nice. its been a really hot week at camp... Lonnie & Yelena are funny and one of our girls are trying to hook em up lmaoo. i'd puke if yelena does anything or date him haha, ew. So i went to the mall yesterday with Jill, Ari, and Steve. they are sooo funny lmao, especially steve. He was talking and we stopped paying attention and we turned back and he was still talking hahaha, wow. oh yeah and i poked him in the eye twice but i swear the SECOND time i did it, was on accident lol. we also bought the same shirt so i'm seriously wondering if i look like a boy with boobs, hmph. w/e its one of my favorite bands "as i lay dying." OMG THEY PLAYED AT MARLBORO REC AND I FOUND OUT FROM A KID ON MY BUS, I'M SOOO UPSET!!!! i hope their playing here again... oh yeah, i also bought these rele hott ass hightop converse, all black and awesome designs. i cant rele explain but i love them so much!!!i'm going to try and wash this black hair dye out cause its to harsh for me. i miss alyssa kern. shes my best friend and i haven't seen her in foreverrr : ( gr thats pissing me off! i <3 herr ohh so much! i also miss a lot of people i lost touch with... it sadens me. oh well, it was ment to be i guess. i did get to see kris tuesday for a few hours and he's such an amazing boy!!! i went to prince of peace thursday with sara and her friends. her friends are the coolest! i saw jon and he borrowed my shirt so i borrowed sara's tank top lol, rad. it was a good show <3 well i'm done for now, today me and mom are going to an early movie and i have to catch up on my reading.

weee survey

Sun, 17 Jul 2005 15:11:18 GMT

[] first name: Sydnie
[] middle name: Rebekah
[] last name: Finegold
[] nickname(s): Syd, Sydnie Australia, jewiee, fav. jew
[] gender: female
[] birthday: January 17th
[] height: 5"5 ish
[] hair color: black
[] eye color: green
[] do you wear glasses or contacts: neither
[] do you have braces: haha i used too
[] is your hair long or short: its pretty short
[] where were you born: Manhatten
[] current location: Freehold NJ
[] zodiac sign: capricorn
[] how many languages do you know: only english
[] what laungage do you want to learn: i'd like to learn yiddish, wont happen.
[] bad habits: biting nails, cracking knuckles, being too insecure
[] tattoos you want: umm... a vangough painting on my back, wont happen.
[] today: so far lovely
[] today's date: 6/17/05
[] the time: 10:02 a.m
[] ready for a bunch more questions: sure, why not!

F A M i L Y
[] mother's name: Tama
[] father's name: Jay
[] brother's name: only child
[] favorite aunt: Aunt Sue
[] favorite uncle: uncle howie
[] favorite grandparent: Gilda
[] worst relative: my aunt on the other side, susan.
[] best relative: Hannah and Shauna
[] do you get along with your parents: my dad usually all the time, not really mom
[ .039. ] does anyone in your family understand you?: sure.

P E T S
[] do you have any pets: yes
[] what are their names: Roxy & Dream
[] what kind of animals are they: dog and horse

S C H 0 0 L
[] are you still in school: yeah, damnit
[] did you drop out: no, thats not a choice
[] current gpa: like i pay attention lmao
[] favorite grade: mmm def. sophmore year
[] least favorite grade: 7th-8th
[] favorite teacher: Miss. Mayberry & Mrs. Somers
[] favorite subject: History & English
[] least favorite subject: math
[] do/did you buy lunch or bring it: i bring it and buy it, whichever
[] play any sports on the school's team: nope
[] are/was were you popular: no, i had my group. i was good
[] favorite dance: um, i dunno
[] favorite memory: lunch with the girls
[] favorite memory you want to have in the future: i have no fuckin clue
[] least favorite memory: having mrs... fuck i forgot her name...
[] most humiliating moment: prob. like falling up/down the stairs a few times

F A V 0 R i T E S
[] number: 17
[] letter: A
[] shoes: my old D/Cs
[] saying(s): "you weiner"
[] TV show: degrassi
[] sport: skating (used to, still watch it)
[] vegetable: carrots
[] fruit: peaches
[] movie: sisterhood of the traveling pants
[] magazines: nylon, z!nk
[] actor: will ferell, zack braff
[] actress: no idea
[] candy: skittles/m&ms
[] gum: orbit
[] scent: burberry
[] candy bar: hershey
[] ice cream flavor: chocolate
[] color: pink and green
[] season: spring, fall
[] holiday: winter break
[] band: Saosin and underoath, for sure
[] singer: your mom
[] group: i dunno
[] rapper: hmm i have to say NAS or TUPAC
[] type of music: im not sure, i like a lot
[] thing in your room: my collage i made
[] place to be: in Kris's arms
[] tv channel: hbo
[] junk food: candy/chips
[] overall food: chinese
[] store: delias
[] hangout: someones house, mall, beach
[] fast food: mcdonalds
[] restaurant: shyt, thats hard.
[] shape: smiley face
[] time of day: the moring when i first wake up
[] country: England
[] state: New York or california
[] boys name: Hunter
[] girls name: Eden
[] mall: Freehold
[] video game: no idea
[] shampoo: Dove
[] board game: life
[] computer game: no idea
[] car: jeep
[] music video: hmm, i dunno
[] swear word: fuck
[] word: weiner
[] month: January, Febuary
[] cartoon character: hm, never thought bout it
[] scary movie: the amyitiville horror, i cant spell
[] team: none
[] possession: fox and Dori

P R i V A T E L i F E
[] do you have a boyfriend: yeapp
[] do you have a crush: yeah
[] do you love anyone right now: i like someone a lottt
[] have you ever been in love: i think i have
[] how many people have you liked: lmao....
[] who was your first crush: i dont remeber
[] how many hearts have you broken: a few i guess : /
[] how many people broke your heart: a lot, friends/boyfriend/family... it breaks
[] best quote to sum up love: im not sure
[] so what is your bf like: amazing, like me, very cute, beautiful smile, makes me feel safe, lovely
[] do you have a picture of him: duhhh lol
[] please post it if you do: okay....
[] do you have a picture of yourself: lmao yeah
[] please post it if you do: okay....
[] do you go by looks or personality: personality. looks is a plus
[] ever kiss a friend: yea
[] are you still friends: yea
[] so moving along..do you smoke? not at all
[] do you smoke weed: nope
[] ever trip on acid: nope
[] how about a little x: no
[] crack, heroin, anything else: no....
[] beer good or beer bad: some are good
[] are you the sissy who drinks wine coolers: nope
[] do you like smirnoff ice: no
[] prefer beer or liquor: beer
[] what kind of cigarettes do you smoke: none
[] have you ever drank Hypnotiq: no
[] if yes, when was the last time you got some: ...

W 0 U L D Y 0 U EVER..
[] bungee jump: i want to
[] sky dive: duhhh
[] swim with dolphins: I want to
[] scuba dive: yes i have
[] go rock climbing: damn wedgies, no
[] eat shit for $1,000,000: it just wouldnt happen
[] turn your back on your friends for personal gain: nope
[] steal a friend's boyfriend/girlfriend: nope
[] cross-dress: yeah
[] lie to the police: yes
[] run from the police: yeahh
[] lie to your parents: yes
[] walk up to a stranger and kiss them: no
[] be an exotic dancer: no...
[] walk out of a restaurant without paying: im a scaredy cat lol
[] streak: yeah

Y 0 U R F R I E N D S
[] known longest: violetta
[] wish you talked to more: my old friends
[] wish you saw more: kris and everyone i dont see much
[] how many friends do you think you have: im not sure
[] who drives you insane after a while: heh no comment
[] who can you stay around forever and never get sick of: sara, lys, ryan, kris.. a lot more
[] ever lose a good friend because you took it to the 'next level': yeahhh
[] craziest: sara, lauren, laura lol
[] loudest: gabby, MEGHAN lol
[] shyest: hmm not sure
[] best hair: ryan, and shyt, i dunno.
[] can always make you laugh: kris, sara, laura
[] best eyes: kris
[] best body: jon
[] most athletic: ahh kyle
[] sex symbol: i dunno
[] hot tempered: meghan
[] most impatient: im not sure
[] shortest: lys <3
[] tallest: john
[] talented: Ryan, zakk
[] best singer: ryan
[] skinniest: jill
[] nicest: kris, laura
[] best personality: everyone
[] biggest drug user: well if it was pot... Jon

HAVE Y0U EVER:
[] flashed someone: yea
[] told a person how you felt bout them: duhhh
[] been to michigan: no
[] gone to jail or juvie: no
[] skateboarded: yeahh
[] skinny dipped: not fully
[] stolen anything: no
[] wanted to kick my ass for making this so long: lol kinda
[] kicked someone's ass: yah
[] pegged someone in the head with a snowball: of course
[] broke a beer bottle: no
[] gotten into a bar, under-age: yeah
[] kissed someone of the same sex: yes
[] gone on a road trip: nope not yet
[] gone on vacation without adult supervision: no
[] been to a concert: a few shows
[] been to another country: um, carribian cruise count?
[] talked back to an adult: yeah, my mom
[] got pulled over: no
[] got in a car accident: nope
[] broke a law: probably
[] given money to a homeless person: yeah
[] tried to kill yourself: .....yeah
[] cried to get out of trouble: yes
[] kissed a friend's brother or sister: noooo
[] kissed a brother or sister's friend: nooo, i dont have sibs
[] dropped something on the floor that you were cooking and let someone eat it anyways?: lol no

0 P I N I 0 N S
[] what do you think...about pop music: yeh sometimes
[] about boy bands: yucky
[] about flag burning: I odn't care, burn whatever your heart desires.
[] of the war on terrorists: its flippin retarded. mother fuckers
[] about suicide: i dont approve
[] about people who try to force their opinions on you: i want to hurt them
[] about rock/metal music: i love it
[] where do you think you'll be in 10 years: good job, family
[] who do you think you'll still be friends with in 5 years: who knows, its so far away

W H A T D I D Y 0 U D 0
[] last birthday: had a bit of a house party
[] yesterday: hung out with my amazing boyfriend for the WHOLE day
[] last weekend: malled/ went into town with matt, went to kris's, then beach with laura
[] christmas: JEWISH
[] thanksgiving: a fancy buffet restuarant with fam
[] new year's: florida hommiee
[] halloween: gabby had a party
[] easter: jew.
[] valentine's day: hung out with ex.... bleh

T H E L A S T
[] thing you ate: carrots and dip
[] thing you drank: ice tea
[] thing you wore: my fata shirt and pj pants and one sock...
[] place you went: show with kris <3
[] thing you got pierced/tattooed: ummm either my nips, but took em out or 5th holes.. but now i have only one pair
[] person you saw: kris <3
[] person you talked to: dan
[] song you heard: um, i havent listened to one since last night
[] what are you eating: carrots and dip
[] what are you drinking: ice tea
[] what are you wearing: fata and pj pants, one sock
[] any shoes on: no
[] hat: none
[] listening to: the food channel
[] talking to anyone: yea
[] are you pissed i made this so long: its a bit annoying, but i enjoy it lol
[] are you a vegetarian: no
[] do you like cows: i like when they moo and produce milk, yep
[] what time is it now: 11:10 a.m

weee. boyfriend. best day.

Sun, 17 Jul 2005 13:34:48 GMT

well yesterday was such a lovely day! so around 12:14 me and mother went to pick up kris for the day, so it was an interesting ride home with my mom and her driving lmao. So we got back and we just watched anchorman, or tried to because we were kissing a lot hehe. And then Kris asked me out and i said YES! i also made him 2 braceletes that are pretty girly because thats all the beads i had haha, he likes em though : ) so then we decided to go to the mall and we hung out for a while and went into stores and kissed and held hands and it was cute <3 lol. We got back home and we tryed watching some more of anchorman and then mom made bbq, weee! it was good... then we went to prince of peace with Sara and her friends, it was pretty good. i got to hangout with my boyfriend and best friend... lol i had to take care of sara kind of, or watch out for her.... i saw tom, anthony, justin, aj and other people i know... yeah tom stole my soda and made it get all fizzy and it spilled all over the side walk then he drank it and it was half empty so i gave it to anthony... heh oh well. i also bought a 10 dollar ticket to a show on aug. 7th.... and i dont even know if i could go lmao, oh well. So yeah me and kris were cuddling all night and it was really cool and i feel really safe with him, my mom said he's a keeper : ) so i layed in his lap on the way home and then he did msn for me <3 and we watched a bit more of anchorman and then his mom came. i didnt want to let go of him... it was pretty sad : / i heart him so much!!! we're pretty cute together i must say lol.

Thu, 14 Jul 2005 01:07:00 GMT

awe, look at this cutie!!!!! <3

mmm i <3 him so flippin much!!!

mhmm. hes a cutie.

Thu, 14 Jul 2005 00:43:02 GMT

i like him a lot.

he makes me seriously happy, for real.

Wed, 15 Jun 2005 11:20:45 GMT

+ I like a boy, a lot.

+ I cry too much and only able to tell one person all about it.

+ I hate fakes, hypocrits, liars, cheaters... a lot.

+ i do not smoke and i dont drink.

+ i may not sound smart but i am into philosophy, art, literature, religions & wars, the news and history.

+ I have had my nipples pierced for a week.

+ my best friends Timmy, Joei and Tony have died.

+ I like to hang out in my under garments around my house, 24/7.

+ I want to find the right one.

+ I am attracted to the same sex, but not into them sexually.

+ my first kiss was at age of 14.

+ I hate rap except a few exceptional songs.

+ My feelings get hurt pretty easily.

+ I sit home and make collages of music & fashion like its the air i breathe.

+ I love to cuddle, hold hands and peck kiss above all the other stuff.

+ I have been depressed.

+ I support bis/gays/transvestites.

+ I forgive to easily and give people second chances.

+ I never had stitches, broken bones.

+ I love photogrpahy and always have my camera, usually.

+ I only trust one boy.

+ I always think too much ahead and worry.

+ i think the body is art but i dont think you should whore yourself out.

+ I am a really good girl and try to do everything right.

+ I hate making pants for fashion class and basically failed.

+ I like to go to shows in nyc and have gotten slashed by someone in a pit.

+ I hate my religion and rather be anything else

+ I think one male teacher is cute in my school and hes 23 so hes not like 40

+ I have had slept over with my best boy friends... and they do torture me in a joking way lol

+ I am afraid i wont be anyone in the future

+ I enjoy porn once in awhile.

+ I love all diff. musics, not only hardcore

+ People who dont know me think im weird and wont jump to be friends.

+ i want to be happy and carefree, someone is helping me do that : )

Wed, 15 Jun 2005 11:04:32 GMT

SECTION 1 [ YOU ]
+your name: Sydnie Finegold
+ your gender: Female
+ age: 16
+ height: 5'5
+ hair color: black
+ eye color: green
+ your location: Freehold Fakeville
+ fears: death, dying alone, nightmares, being alone, rejection, my mom lol.

SECTION 2 [ HAVE YOU EVER ]
+ peed your pants? when i was little
+ cheated on someone? never ever
+ fallen off the bed? lmao, yes... all the time
+ fallen for a relative? thats pretty grimey
+ had plastic surgery? no
+ broke someone`s heart? yeah, hmph.
+ had your heart broken? lmao, duh. thats my life story
+ had a dream come true? yeah, gosh i love em
+ done something you regret? of course, but i got over it
+ cheated on a
+ broken a body part? noppee

SECTION 3 [ DO YOU ]
+ brush your teeth? lmao 24/7
+ like anybody? yesyes : )
+ have any piercings? yea ears... more earrings i want.
+ drive? not yet, to scared.
+ believe in Santa Claus? um... *BIG JEW* across my face
+ ever get off the computer? haha yeah, never happeneing

SECTION 4 [ FRIENDS ]
+ who is your best? Kris
+ who is the loudest? everyone.
+ who is the shyest? hmm, im not sure anymore..
+ who is the cutest? meg for sure.
+ who laughs the most? lys
+ who have you known the longest? violetta, since second.
+ who have you known the shortest? mmm... kris, perhaps.
+ do you belong to a crew? haha a sisterhood with one other ladayy
+ do you hang out with the opposite sex? yeah, most of my friends are.
+ do you consider yourself POPULAR? no, i have a lot of aqquantinces
+ do you trust your friends? yes, sommee
+ are you a good friend? yeah, im always there for everyone
+ can you keep a secret? yes, unless it was real serious or fatal

Tue, 14 Jun 2005 21:03:43 GMT

___your info___

1. Name: Sydnie
2. Nicknames: Syd, jewiee, australia, sydinator, sydster, fav. jew
3. Birthday: Januaury 17, 1989
4. Place of Birth: Brooklyn, New York
5. Zodiac Sign: capricorn
6. Male or Female: Female
7. Grade: Sophmore
8. School: Freehold Regional
9. Occupation: Student, counclor at camp soon
10. Residence: Freehold
11. ScreenName: girl saves world

___your appearance___

12. Hair Color: black
13. Hair Length: short
14. Eye color: green
15: Style: hmmm. unique?
16. Height: 5"5
17. Braces?: used to
18. Glasses?: nope
19. Piercings: earrings
20. Tattoos: none
21. Righty or Lefty: Lefty

___Your 'Firsts'___

22. First best friend: Violetta
23. First Award: preschool graduation?
24. First Sport You Joined: hmm, none. skateboarding?
25. First pet: gold frish, forgot names.
26. First Real Vacation: florida
27. First Concert: i forgot, something local.
28. First Love: hmph. Brandon

___ Favorites___

29. Movie: the notebook, girl with pearl earring... millions more
30. TV Show: ... im not sure anymore
31. Color: green, blues, black
32. Rapper: your mama
33. Band: a million.
34. Song Right Now: i/m noise
35. Friend: Kris... and i have more.
36. Candy: i don't really enjoy candy. i eat it sometimes.
37. Sport to Play: skateboarding
38. Restaurant: turning point.
39. Favorite brand to wear: delias
40. Store: delias, hot topic
41. School Subject: history, english
42. Animal: horse, doggy
43. Book: shes come undone
44. Magazine: nylon
45. Shoes: roos

___Currently___

46. Feeling: excited, happy
47. Single or Taken?: single
48. Have a crush: no comment.
49. Eating: nada
50. Drinking: nada
51. Typing: this survey and too kris
52. Online: yes
53. Listening: nothing
54. Thinking About: jonner having his license, summer.
55. Wanting To: hangout with kris and go to the beach.
56. Watching: nada
57. Wearing: skirt and boombox shirt

___Your Future___

58. Want Kids?: yes
59. Want to be married?: yes
60. Careers in Mind: photographer, something with flowers
61. Where do you want to live: somewhere far from america.
62. Car: convertable, something.

__Which is better with the Sex of your chioce___

63. Hair color: dark
64. Hair length: long-ish.
65. Eye color: green, brown
66. Measurements: ....
67. Cute or Sexy: cute
68. Lips or Eyes: eyes
69. Hugs or Kisses: hugs
70. Short or Tall: tall
71. Easygoing or serious: easygoing
72. Romantic or Spontaneous: both
73. Fatty or Skinny: skinny, yeah.
74. Sensitive or Loud: sensitive
75. Hook-up or Relationship: relationship
76. Sweet or Caring: both
77. Trouble Maker or Hesitant One: trouble maker

___Have you ever______

78. Kissed a Stranger: yeah
79. Had Alcohol: yes
80. Smoked: nope
81. Ran Away From Home: got to the front yard
82. Broken a bone: nope
83. Got an X-ray: i dont remeber
84. Been with someone: yeah
85. Broken someone's Heart: yeah : (
86. Broke Up With Someone: yeah
87. Cried When Someone Died: yeah, still do...
88. Cried At School: yeah

___Do You Believe In___

89. God: no
90. Miracles: yes
91. Love At First sight: yes
92. Ghosts: yes
93. Alliens: no
94. Soul Mates: yes
95. Heaven: yes
96. Hell: yes
97. Angels: yes
98. Kissing on The First Date: yeah
99. Horoscopes: nope, dont even look at em

___Answer Truthfully___

100. Is There Someone You Want But You Know You Can't Have: yes : /
101. How many times have you spotted Waldo? hmm a few times in a book

Tue, 14 Jun 2005 17:52:16 GMT

Name: Sydnie
Birthday: January 17, 1989
Birthplace: Brooklyn, New York
Current Location: Freehold twp.
Single/Taken: single
Eye Color: green
Hair Color: black
Height: 5"5
Right Handed or Left Handed: Lefty
Your Heritage: French, Russian, Austrian, puerto rican, irish, english
The Shoes You Wore Today: my cool flip flops

YOUR:

weakness: Laziness, being alone.
fears: rejection, dying alone, death
perfect pizza: plain, duh!
best physical feature: eyes, hair
bedtime: whenever, wee.
most missed memory: the times with my best friends who passed away.

THIS OR THAT?:

Pepsi or Coke: coke
MacDonalds or Burger King: macdonalds
Single or Group Dates: Single
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Lipton original brewed sweetend in a glass bottle
Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate
Cappuccino or Coffee: cappuccino

DO YOU:

smoke: nope
swear: yeah, a lot
sing: og course!!! lol, to Kris on the phone.
shower daily: 1 or 2 times
want to go to college: yes
want to get married: absolutely
belive in yourself: not all the time, not at all.
get motion sickness: nope, not usually.
think you are attractive: nope.
get along with your Parents: my dad mostly, not really my mom
like Thunderstorms: yes, their amazingg
play an Instrument: i've tried guitar aha

IN THE PAST MONTH HAVE YOU:

drank alcohol: nope
smoked: nope
been on drugs: nope
gone on a date: yeah
gone to a mall: yeah
eaten a box of oreos: lmao. no.
eaten sushi: no.
been on stage: nope.
been dumped: yes.
gone skinny dipping: kind of.
stolen anything: nope

HAVE YOU EVER:

been drunk: yes hehe
been called a tease: yeah
been beaten up: lol by my friends.
shoplifted: nope

IN A BOY/GIRL:

favorite eye color: green, brown.
favorite hair color: dark.
short or long hair: long-ish-long
height: i like taller than me
weight: doesnt matter
best clothing style: whatever they look good in

NUMBER OF:

cds I own: a lot, a lottt
piercings: one pair of earrings.
tattoos: none
things in my past I regret: not anything at all, it all happens for a reason

Fri, 10 Jun 2005 02:08:58 GMT

NEVERMIND. I'M A FUCK UP, I'M NOT GOOD FOR ANYONE AND I'M AN EMO FUCK. YOU ALL, WHOEVER READS THIS SHOULD FORGET ABOUT ME. I DONT DESERVE TO BE HERE. LET ME DIE, NO ONE DESERVES THAT MORE THAN ME. NO ONE FUCKIN CARES.

DDDEEEPPPRREESSSSIIIONNNNNN.

Fri, 10 Jun 2005 02:06:35 GMT

KILL ME SLOWLY</3

emofuck entry

Thu, 09 Jun 2005 19:57:41 GMT

sometimes when i sleep i know i'm dreaming and its so so much better then reality. this past week has been torture. i hate growing up to fast, because i have been since 8th grade... now Kevin had AIDS, my best friend and my "brother" i can't stand everyone leaving me... i can not lose him, he's the world to me and when his parents kicked him out and he slept here my heart broke so bad. i always try to be the sweet good girl and help everyone through everything... i even give people money or gum or w/e so they can be happy i let them diss the shyt out of me playing or not... i get treated like crap all the time. i've gotten used to that feeling and became pretty much numb... i realized i cant be good enough or even happy enough for a lot of people... I don't like this growing up too fast life style because i miss my friends and i miss our really fun times together, they died too young... i went through too much really young. i can not handle it anymore. Jersey makes me sad, really sad. I try so hard to make everyone happy and smiley, even if it takes that away from me. i haven't been doing a good job lately because i feel really bad. I am different and not perfect and i have imperfections more than anyone knows... but i try so fuckin hard to be the one too text you if its in ur away message... to hug you and be there if u had a breakup/fight/arguement. i need someone here for me and the boy who promised he he would, isnt. he was my close friend and he promised me he would always be here and would always love me even if things didnt work out... but hes not and he comes and goes whenever he likes, he has a tendancy to come back in my life every other month or 2... i cant trust anymore, i dont know what to do. i honestly cant handle this anymore, i'm ready to give up, but Frank wont let me. : /

Sun, 05 Jun 2005 23:16:30 GMT

I TOLD HIM HOW I FELT... AND ALL MY STRESS HAS DISAPPEARED IT WAS AN AWESOME OUTCOME. LETS SEE WHAT HAPPENS IN THE FUTURE, WEEE!!!! <333

mwah xoxo

Sun, 05 Jun 2005 18:47:50 GMT

yesterday was amazing...

so me and my parents drove all the way to upstate and i love car rides so much, i got to think about everything and listen to half of my binder full of cds... i even ran out and listened too freakin DMX lmao, yeah wow. So i def. thought about everything in my life... all my boy problems, friends and such, i also thought about kids names hahaha, i forgot them though. I enjoy annoying my parents so much that i had to scream sing too them. i took a picture on the way and some of myself. We got there and chylled for a little then we saw my aunts hopefully new house... its so cute and natural and she has a hot tub. so major partayyy up in redneck ville yo! lmao. i met up with my old close friend Chris and we went swimming in the lake and talked and had a grand time.. we sun bathed on the dock in the middle of the lake and he knows im going through rough shyt so he held my hand and smiled at me... it felt really good to know i have people here for me. Then we took a ride in his jeep with his roof off and we listened to Bob Marley, i closed my eyes and raised my hands and i felt like i was flying, it felt really good to be alive. oh and plus we went jetskiing : ) then i got dropped off at my aunts apartment and we all went too a really awesome resturant on the water and the jet skiiers and boats were really close too us, i want a jet ski really bad!! my dad said maybe we can get one if we move to north carolina after i graduate, we're gonna go to belmar and rent them hourly. SWEET, i love my dad, hes so amazing and i miss him so much when he works for days on... i wore my underoath shirt that me and lys are sharing because we feel like having a sisterhood. <3 it was a great day in that shirt... i didnt fall asleep in the car ride home.. i listened to Vertical Horizon and cried because my life is really good but i look at it as really bad, im gonna turn it around.

today was the camp meeting for 3 hrs at frogbridge, it was really gay but i behaved myself. Kristens going to the camp now YESS!!! and fran,yelena,gabby,heather,jackie,and evan were there, so it was okay. New people, new guys... i dont even care anymore.i might hang out with Brandon tonight if we can, i miss him so much and he knows me so well its pretty scary. We havent hung out in like almost a year but he always tends to pop back in my life every other month or 2. he made me really happy and safe, hes the best and will always love him no matter what, even if stuff didnt work out last summer... we stayed really good friends : )

i love my friends more than life, thats the one thing im sure about.

HOT FRIDAY KIDS...

Sat, 04 Jun 2005 06:23:59 GMT

So today is friday, and it was wonderful... had a half day because of senior prom, i hope no one gets pregnant lmao.

so i had a break down after school and i hurt my knees pretty bad when i fell to the floor, i hate being so god damn emo sometimes or bi polar, i dont know whats wrong with me, whatever.. i'll pull through; i always do. But yeah, Lys picked me up to go to the mall and it was pretty fun... saw lots of people like Jill and her friend Ariel (sp?) saw some gay people and a few aquantances... mhmm i saw *jake,john,john,jess,jenna,yelena,kat* and then we chylled with Tom a little bit and his brother and their friends... i made Tom cry by accident.. im sorry : / but he should learn whats good and not. yeah, i met someone named Tim and he was cool. Tom told him i thought he was hot and i got totally embarrassed. So we walked around... i got an UnderOath shirt and the worker in Hot Topic was reallly hot and he wore make-up. WHOA!! : ) we ate and talked and met up with Steve and Jonner (lys's boyfriend) yeah it was mad akward but they were good. just Steve is mad at me i think... but whatever, he has a girlfriend and i knew brittni (sp?) and him would be together anyway... so what the fuck ever man. yeah then Steve drove me and Lys too the movies and those 2 kids were making out and yet again... it was really akward lmao. so we got there and got our tickets to see sisterhood of the traveling pants... then jonner calls lys and her keys were in his pocket lmao, i dunno how they got there... but they did. so she met up with him in the lobby and we then watched the movie.. it was amazing, we both cried.... we also have a new sisterhood. "Under Our Oath" yeah, we're best friends so its just rad, okay? lmao. yeah, we saw frank at the movies and i saw Kayla's boyfriend Jimmy and chatted with him... i approve, hes a good kid. So yeah the movie ended like at 12 something so we just took pics and played in the rain/puddles until my dad picked us up and he too her home, i love my dad... but i can tell hes falling apart and shyts changing : ( i hope hes okay. so yeah, im home now talking to Kyle Gatlin<3 from indiana, hes so rad : ) and thank you mark for making me feel 67890765432 times better when i was crying my face off, your amazing too. yeah i g2g <3 xoxo

rawr.

Thu, 02 Jun 2005 23:22:49 GMT

life has been doing okay!

nothing really new with school. its almost over and i am pretty damn excited... i've been sick lately and its not a cold sick... i hope i get better. but yeah steve came by to get his stuff and his girlfriend or girl w/e was in the car. it was pretty damn akward like we were meeting for the first time again. hmph, w/e. i got so pissed off before because i think people dont really care for me.. they just keep me around because i make them happy or feel loved and i am that type.. but i get nothing in return and its starting to hurt me. bleh. butt me and ryan are best friends and it seems like nothing happened. im so glad!!! i can talk to him about anything and everything woohoo! hmm i love my friends a lot but i dunno i just think a lot are taking advantage of me.. w/e. i have a few crushes here and there. thats cool lol. hmm not much else to say except i have a half day tomorrow who wants to parttyyyy????

fun ass weekend.

Mon, 30 May 2005 23:48:16 GMT

So life has been pretty damn good.

yesterday was pretty tight. i went to my cousin/friends house for a little bit for their moms birthday... then i got home and went to the lake with a bunch of cool kids... went swimming and stuff, hung out. it made my day. then i came home and chylled... talked to some people.. Kyle slept over and he made cupcakes, burnt his arm and i saved him. thats rad, hes the best brother in the world. <3 bffae... fun times

today me and ryan made up and he accepted my apology, fun times! so now we're best friends again and i'm pretty happy. i went into ny today for a docs appointment then came home and kyle came over to jam out on his guitar and i sang his lyrics... i had an amazing time. im prob. gonna start up with guitar again so i wont have so much shyt on my head and worry all the time.. heh. yeah i finished some homework and hanging out <3 i absolutly love my friends soo much!

i have a crush on you<3

~Sydnie Rebekah

i'm dumb like whoa.

Sun, 29 May 2005 16:52:50 GMT

So yeah, everything has been going amazing until last night.... but friday was so much fun. It was marielles sweet 16, i saw so many people. OMG mike was there, i havent seen gim in god knows how long. it was so nice seeing him cause hes such an awesome person. Lys was like in love with the dancer and danced with him all night... yeah it was cute, but i kinda danced by myself. lol mike danced with me too one slow song. it was fun! i hope we get really close cause i knew him since 7th grade and we hated eachother but its all good now aha. I saw joe, sarah, marielle, dave and met some cool people. it was an amazing sweet 16. so yeahh, then i slept over lys's and we talked all night and stuff and it was real fun lol... we woke up and ate then hurried rele fast because my mom came. so we went to my house and my cousin jeff was over. yeah they were flirting all night and when i was changing he kept like knocking. hes such a pervert and asked me personal stuff i wouldnt tell a cousin, but it was funny and distubring cause lys was whipping him on the butt with a belt. heh... yeahh lol. and then we went to prince of peace and it was ok, not the best. my whole school was practically there and we chylled with joe and lys/his friend kyle a little bit, i also saw justin. Sara also came and it suprised me.. good times! lol i also saw Joe, hes pretty rad. he sticked around for like 5 min lmao, oh well we'll chyll oneday heh. so yeah.. me, lys, jon and tom walked to the pizza place and walked and ate cause my mom was coming and joe got a free slice of pizza lmao. fun times. so yeah we left at 8:30 and thats when jon came bacl haha, oh man. but yeah, my legs were shot and we just relaxed with the cousin until they left. now me and lys are watching a cool movie yo...

but the worst part, Ryan practically hates me now and we're not friends anymore. im just so stupid and retarded and i say shyt i dont really mean and it turned into "him wanting to be alone." so yeah my hearts broken because he was my best friend and was always there for me. he also put up with my shyt for so long. this hurts so much and now i have to say his name as "ex best friend" i hope we become friends again... i need some time too i suppose, im just so down right now and no one seems to give a crap about me even though i make so many people happy.. its not fair, i hate this.

~Sydnie Rebekah

Sun, 29 May 2005 04:52:25 GMT

Long and fun for when your bored and wanna write stuff about yourself.
Created by xhauntedcherryx and taken 703 times on bzoink!
XXX About yourself XXX
Name:	Sydnie Finegold
Age:	16
Hair color:	black
Eye color:	green
Location:	Freehold NJ
Like living there?:	not at all
Pets:	one dog, one horse
School:	FTHS
After school activities:	um, octagon. kinda...
Get good grades?:	sometimes
XXX About your friends XXX
Best friend:	many, i dont want to say names
Happy with the friends you have?:	yes mostly
Want new friends?:	of course, who doesnt
Friend you call most often:	mark, ryan ( : / )
Friend who calls you most often:	hmm depends...
Friend you talk to online most:	a lot of people.
Friend you hang out with most:	awe, diff. groups.
Friend who annoys you most:	hmph, i wont be mean.
Friend you don't really want:	same as up there.
Any friends who became enemies:	yes, plenty.
Any enemies who became friends:	haha yeah.
XXX Random XXX
Like to burn stuff:	not really.. at all
Drug addict:	not in a million years.
Coffee addict:	nope
Sex addict:	neh
Watch porn:	yeah
Wear socks with sandals:	nooo
Have a best friends forever necklace:	yeah DUH lol
Do you dress hard-core:	haha sometimes
Do you dress preppy:	no, unless i wear a skirt
Do you make fun of the preps:	sometimes.
Do you envy the preps:	nope
What color can you not stand:	bright yellow
What band/singer do you hate most:	good charlotte
Do you head bang when you listen to music:	yeah
Are you in a band:	nope
If not do you wish you were:	yeah i do.
Do you shower everynight:	yeah usually..
Do you brush your teeth in the shower:	no but it looks fun lol.
Do you smell your armpits to make sure you don't smell bad:	nope...
Do you wear clothes more then once before washing them:	yeah sometimes, heh
Can you twist your tongue into a clover shape:	lmao i wish!
XXX Have you ever XXX
Kissed someone of the opposite sex:	yeah
Kissed someone of the same sex:	... not answering
Kissed someone you didn't like:	yeah
Let a dog french kiss you:	um yeah but not french heh.
Been toilet papering:	no
Been egging:	no
Skinny-dipped:	nope
Mooned someone:	yea
Prank called someone you knew:	yeah but they knew lol
Prank called someone you didn't know:	yeah
Done something with your ex:	yeah
Done something with your best friends ex w/o telling them:	no
Ditched your friends to hang out with the popular:	nope
been popular:	i dont think so...
Cried in school:	yeah lmao too much.
Laughed so hard you pissed yourself:	no
Pissed your pants at school:	no
Been online for so long your eyes burned:	yeah all the time
Stayed on the phone all night:	yea, not recently
Eaten cat food:	no
Eaten yellow snow not knowing that it was pissed on:	haha ew.
Licked a metal pole in the middle of witner	lol no, i know someone who did.
Been out of the state:	yeah
Been out of the country:	yeah
Been to Hawaii:	no
Been to the white house:	no
Been on a cruise:	yeah
Been to the statue of liberty:	no
Create a Survey \| Search Surveys \| Go to bzoink!

my dad & my day.

Thu, 26 May 2005 22:05:28 GMT

my dad is seriously an amazing person... hes been there for me so much and i love him. he has been taking care of this family for so long, he put up with me and my moms bullshit forever. He is my best friend and i barely see him, he works to hard and i am really scared that it will all catch up to him. i almost lost him a few times but i can never ever be mad at him. i really want to be young again and where i was the age of really not having friends so all i did was hang out with my dad. hes one of the strongest people i know and he always makes me laugh. i love how he makes fun of me and when he makes fun of my guy friends lol. i really never see him, its been like more than a week. He works really hard at saving lives. he needs a break, someone should save his life because i can see that hes breaking down and falling apart... he gives me good advice and takes me anywhere i want to go even if he walked all night and day. He never complains and always tells me to do the right things.<3

So today was okay, its been gloomy forever and i feel extremely bleh and what not. Mark and myself have been texting back and forth basically 24/7 and its been wonderful. i hate how he lives like an hour 1/2 or 2 away, i really want to see him <3 maybe one of my friends can help me out?!?! : ) it be muchly appreciative and i would be your slave for all time. i'm really sad today and its about one person... it hurts a lot and i cant control it : / but mike from long island drove here to keep me company and talk to me... hes the bestest!!!!! we're getting rele good friends and its fun. but yeah im hanging with some friends now and their being amazing as always. woo! ok g2g

i miss you <3

~Sydnie Finegold

stolen from a cutie : )

Tue, 24 May 2005 01:07:47 GMT

SECTION 1 [ YOU ]
+your name: Sydnie R. Finegold.
+ your gender: Female.
+ age: 16, wee.
+ height: 5"5-5"6.
+ hair color: black.
+ eye colour: green
+ your location: Freehold Twp. NJ
+ fears: heart broken, alone.

SECTION 2 [ HAVE YOU EVER ]
+ peed your pants? yeah like when i was a baby.
+ cheated on someone? never
+ fallen off the bed? i do it for fun lol.
+ fallen for a relative? psht, ew yo.
+ had plastic surgery? aha no way.
+ broke someone`s heart? yeah : (
+ had your heart broken? yea of course
+ had a dream come true? yeah.
+ done something you regret? yes, def.
+ cheated on a test? lmao yea, im just that bad ass hahaa.
+ been raped? nope... almost.
+ broken a body part? i think so, maybe.

SECTION 3
* mark took out? lol *

SECTION 4 [ DO YOU ]
+ brush your teeth? yeah
+ like anybody? yeah tehehe
+ have any piercings? my ears.
+ drive? no. i should be though...
+ believe in Santa Claus? haha im a jew yo.
+ ever get off the computer? barely lmao.

SECTION 5 [ FRIENDS ]
+ who is your best? i dont want to turn anyone down.
+ who is the loudest? Kayla and Meg for sure.
+ who is the shyest? dayna lol.
+ who is the cutest? awe. everyone is!
+ who laughs the most? jessi, meg, kayla, me, cyn at lunch.
+ who have you known the longest? Violetta
+ who have you known the shortest? Gabby
+ do you belong to a crew? i dont think so
+ do you hang out with the opposite sex? mostly, on weekends.
+ do you consider yourself POPULAR? no way. i just am friendly.
+ do you trust your friends? most of them.
+ are you a good friend? yeah i think i am.
+ can you keep a secret? yes.

SECTION 6 [ THE LAST PERSON YOU ]
+ hugged: John.
+ talked to on the phone: Mark
+ fell in love with: .... he knows.
+ turned down: John.

SECTION 7 [ PERSONAL ]
+ What do you want to be when you grow up? something with flowers, make-up
+ What was the worst day of your life? Timmy and Joei's death.
+ What is your most embarrassing story? um, im really not sure. prob falling infront of someone.
+ What has been the best day of your life? i'd have to say... may 13th, 2005
+ Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend/crush? i have a crush, yes.
+ What do you usually think about before you go to bed? him, of course.

SECTION 8 [ FAVORITE ]
+ Movie: mmm... a lot.
+ Song: wow theres a million
+ Store: Delias, hot topic
+ Ice Cream Flavor: chocolate
+ Candy: ooo whoppers and m&ms
+ Holiday: bday, hannukah

SECTION 9 [ DO YOU ]
+ Like to give hugs? yeah, everyday
+ Like to walk in the rain? yes. its amazing
+ Sleep with or without clothes on? i like to sleep nude.
+ Dress up on Halloween? nope.
+ Have a job? no, too lazy.
+ Like someone? yeah
+ Sleep on your side, tummy or back? usually belly.
+ Think you're attractive? sometimes.
+ Want to marry? yeah.
+ Have a goldfish? i used too

SECTION 10 [ WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT ]
+ Abortion: it depends on what the mother wants.
+ Bill Clinton: um, i dont know. a slut?
+ Eating Disorders: thats fucked up.
+ Suicide: hurtful and horrible.
+ Summer: a-m-a-z-i-n-g
+ Tattoos: i dont think people should get what they like at the moment, like memory stuff is cute.
+ Piercing: amazing, i want to get snake bites
+ Make-up: i live for makeup, me and rich are def shopping
+ Drinking: eh sometimes its ok.
+ Guys: ohhh hottt!
+ Girls: most are gay, too much bull shyt drama

SECTION 11 [ THIS OR THAT ]
+ Pierced nose or tongue? tounge... ohh gosh
+ Single or taken? single.
+ Tongue or belly button ring? tounge like whoa.
+ Chocolate or flowers? flowers are most beautiful.
+ Sunrise or sunset? mmm sunset, good finishing memory of that day.
+ M&M's or Skittles? m&ms
+ Stay up late or sleep in? stay up late.
+ Hot or cold? warm. yeah i dont like either.
+ Taller members of the opposite sex or shorter? taller.
+ Vanilla or chocolate? chocolate.
+ Kids or no kids? oneday maybe.
+ Cat or dog? i like roxy... cats are cute.
+ Half-empty or Half-full? um... who cares?
+ Newspaper or Magazine? magazine
+ Spring or Fall? spring
+ Rain or snow? rain
+ A year of hot sex or a lifetime of friendship? life time of friendship.
+ Happy or sad? happy
+ Mexican or Italian food? italian
+ Duct tape or scotch tape? scotch tape is easier
+ Candy or soda? candy

SECTION 12 [ OTHER QUESTIONS ]
+ Do you go to church? nope.
+ Do you like church? nope.
+ Why or why not? im jewish.
+ Out of all of your friends, who has the coolest house ? Loren, hands down.
+ When you look at a person with lime green tights on, what's the first thing that comes to your head? wow, thats original.

thirteen random things you like:
1)beach
2)relaxing
3)aim
4)boys
5)bestfriends
6)myspace
7)make-up
8)shopping
9)having money
10)my crush<3
11)movies
12)summer
13)new york.

twelve movies:
1)Gia
2)amytiville horror
3)anchor man
4)ace ventura: pet detective
5)elf
6)grind
7)monster in law
8)girl with the pearl earring
9)blue crush
10)garden state
11)finding nemo
12)mean girls

eleven good bands/artists:
1)underoath
2)as i lay dying
3)every time i die
4)matchbook romance
5)the blood brothers
6)the used
7)alexisonfire
8)a static lullaby
9)atreyu
10)senses fail
11)norma jean

ten things about you ... physically:
1) tall.
2) big boobs.
3) short scene hair.
4) green eyes
5) porcelain doll lips
6) curvey
7) 5"5-5"6
8) big butt
9) i dont have a jew nose
10)i have a few freckles.

eight favorite food/drinks:
1) cup o' soup
2) orange juice
3) dumplings
4) pizza
5) hot chocolate
6) ice cream
7) chips
8) fruit snacks

seven people you’ve kissed:
people i can think of

1) ryan
2) steve
3) mike
4) kyle
5) john
6) dan
7) sean

six things that annoy you:
1) fakes
2) people who are too conceded
3) feeling full
4) having my monthly friend
5) school
6) my mom

five things you touch everyday:
1) hair
2) computer
3) makeup
4) roxy
5) my friends

four shows you watch:
1)
2) viva la bam
3) smallville
4) anything on comedy central

three things you wear every day:
1) bra
2) shirt
3) underwear

two celebrities you have a crush on:
1) ohh, zach braff
2) Keith buckley

one thing about yourself that you want everyone to know: im not as insecure as i come across. and i do have feelings and hate when they get hurt

Mon, 23 May 2005 23:33:03 GMT

i really wish i wasnt so jealous... this isn't a fun feeling, im supposed to be feeling free because i am single and thats what single people do. i wish i had a larger vocabulary and that my hair would grow out. so i talked to steve for not even a minute and we agreed that i was going to give him his stuff back, i dont know when. Relationships make you feel tied down and always watching what you do or say, i like this free feeling... like Ryan has said " relationships are for squares " and i am so glad to have a best friend who will tell me i'm insecure and it gets annoying... i need more truthful friends, it feels nice. i feel lazy and unproductive and blah due to the fact that im pissed off at people and taking it out on someone i truly care about, which... he doesnt deserve but i am super jealous of her... who he will be touching and cuddling saturday... but this is teen lust i suppose and i have no say in anything. i'm starting to get irritated by my mothers orders instead of asking... its pissing me off and i feel caged in, its hopeless... i hate being a kid and i hate that my mom cant drive much in the dark. i miss him, and hes been busy... so i wont see him for a while. i have another crush as well, he lives far and it sadens me... we could be something oneday. its sad i dont like anyone from my town, maybe because their complete jerk offs. no one reads this... w.e

random, w.e

Mon, 23 May 2005 22:14:12 GMT

so school has been okay, pretty boring and shyt but w.e...

so i have been really focusing on my collages and school work and it feels really good to not be tied down to someone. i need this for myself, i get to hang out with my friends more and say stuff not worrying about if its gonna get back to that person. I cant wait for summer, i miss all my camp friends and the beach! hopefully me and mike will take surf lessons together which would be so awesome, god i dont think ive seen that kid since mary's sweet 16, i miss him!!! ahh. So yeah... life is going good, sometimes i wish i had my permit but i am so god damn scared of getting lost or getting into a crash and i dont think i have patience for studying either. heh. i hate being so god damn insecure too! i have to watch myself, i just cant handle getting compliments so i automatically bring myself down... i just dont want to be conceded, and im sorry. so yeah people like my hair cut.... it okay, i wish i knew how to do it like the girl did it. : / hmm.. i have myspace again lol, but i want people to add me. or i add who i know or have talked too, so keep that in mind guys! this is such a random entry... but i cant stand being jealous and i have no reason too, wtf is wrong with girls seriously. these are the times i wish i was a dude lol. oh yeah and it was roxys 3rd birthday on the 21st WOOO lol yay. anywhoo.. i need a break from freehold and the surrounding towns, who wants to go on a road trip or something?!!?! that sounds perfect.

god i wish i move to north carolina by the time senior year comes around... </3

~Sydnie Rebekah

Fri, 20 May 2005 11:32:07 GMT

SHES MY IDOL <3 CONNER

SHES ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS, WE GOT EACHOTHERS BACK!

ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS DAVEY FUCKIN MANNION<3

my myspace pics...

Fri, 20 May 2005 11:23:24 GMT

yeah im getting rid of myspace, so heres some myspace pics : )